Lesson 9: Communication & Mutual Problem Solving

Quiz
1. Define Kærlighted
2. List 3 Kommunikasionsmedier
3. Ska' vi hygge os? Yes or no

The above example was used in our class to highlight how difficult communication can be. When both partners are communicating, it's extremely important to be on the same page (aka speaking the same language) or some major problems can start to decay the relationship. We also talked about what means we have available to answer these questions (internet/google translate, knowing similar languages, and asking questions). These are all important because without the ability to communicate issues pile up into judgements, resentment and eventually the belief that the partners are incompatible. I would say that this isn't only important in romantic relationships but in family, friend and roommate relationships too. 

Another crucial aspect of  communication is listening. But just hearing what the other person is saying (verbally and non-verbally) doesn't cut it. Our textbook talked about 5 dysfunctional types of listeners (faker, dependent/people pleaser, interrupter, self-conscious/wants to impress, and intellectual/relies solely on verbal cues). The key to effective listening is eye contact, concentration, responding, asking questions and controlling emotions and urges. I'll be honest, this topic got me really...aggravated because I've noticed how bad our society is as listening. We're so used to being able to respond when we want, giving only verbal cues (ie texting, facebook, snapchat) that we're really not attuned to what other people are really saying. Just because you "like" a post doesn't mean you have a relationship with that person. It really bothers me how unable we are to have real conversations. We're so distracted by our phones and our own lives, it's almost like what's the point of even being around alive human beings. Everything has gone virtual. (**rant over**)

We also discussed how the leaders of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints meet and communicate with each other and how it can be an important and helpful pattern for our own relationships. They meet in a sacred place (the temple), often (weekly), where they express love and appreciation (invites the spirit and builds relationships), pray, discuss to consensus (not a compromise where things are left out, but rather agreeance on a general truth), pray, and have a refreshment. Do you see the chiasm there? While the most important thing is discussing truths, it's surrounded by love, friendship, and a desire and willingness to obey the will of the Lord. How cool is that?!

Cycle of Communication