Lesson 11: Parenting

I love  word definitions and finding distinctions between word pairs once thought to be the same. "Fitting in" vs "Belonging." "Faith" vs "Belief." "Discipline" vs "Punishment." In regards to parenting our children, this last distinction can make a big difference in our relationship. The difference between the two are as follows:

Discipline is a choice.
Punishment is from a superior to an inferior.
Discipline deals with natural consequences.
Punishment is a penalty inflicted that is severe, rough, or disastrous in treatment, and not known in advance.
Discipline is age and situation appropriate.
Punishment is when consequences don't match behaviour. When the only follow through done is done in anger. When a reward is given as payment for loss or suffering. A compensation.

How do you regard your children?

When Disciplining our children, it's better to address their misbehaviour as a miscommunication of their needs. The following chart provides some examples.

Richard Popkin's "Problem-Handling Model" (because not all problems can be solved) gives us a new paradigm of teaching our children. The first question to ask is "Who owns the problem?" Who wants the change and who is affected by it?" After that, you just follow the diagram.

The most important thing to follow, however, is the Holy Spirit. He will direct you, when asked with real intent, how to parent the children God has entrusted you with. He will lead you to guide with love and confidence, not lies and manipulation.