Lesson 2: Understanding Family Dynamics & Theories

We recently discussed theories (attempts to explain phenomena) of why families function the way they do. These include Systems, Exchange, Symbolic Interaction, and Conflict theories.

Systems Theory
Argument that the "whole is more than sums." Everything is intertwined with little influence from the outside and that individual problems come from a problem in the system.

Exchange Theory
Argument of "you owe me one." The costs are lower than the rewards because of rational assessment of the situation.

Symbolic Interaction
Argument of the importance of the interaction of experiences and the symbols involved. One tricky part is that symbols (eg. words or actions) have different meanings to different people. With this theory it's important to think "where do my symbols come from? What about my friends/family/peers?"

Conflict Theory
Argument that not everyone is satisfied because of inequality/conflict/changes. The goal is to get one's own needs, interests and goals met. The interesting thing about this theory is that conflict isn't bad; it's just a difference in will, experience or opinion.

So what? Why should we care about theories, especially in regards to families and relationships? Because theories are an attempt to explain, we can reference them when problems arise or when we want to change an aspect of our relationships with others. If we're consistently arguing with others it could be the result of an unequal meeting of desires, different interpretations of conversations or actions, or because we feel entitled to something. Once we realize there's more going in, we can reevaluate the situation and decide if we want to build and maintain our relationship, or move on.