While we talked about social classes (People Like Us: Social Class in America) and diversity within and among cultures, the most interesting part was the discussion on boundaries. Boundaries are interesting because different cultures (family, race, ethnicity, religion) have different boundaries, both with outside cultures (the whole) and within the culture itself (the individual).
Some cultures have diffuse or open boundaries. This is like having fence posts set up but nothing connecting them. Anyone, anything, can come in and out whenever and as much as they want.
Others have rigid or closed boundaries; like a cement brick wall. Nothing comes in; nothing goes out.
The last is a clear boundary. Like an idyllic picket-fence, it's inviting but also sets up a feeling of "you're welcome, but on my terms."
This discussion of boundaries involved what aspects of family culture do we want to project forward? Basically, what do I value enough to have a part of my future home. It got me thinking about my family and the diffuse and rigid boundaries are set up. I think because there wasn't a clear boundary to start off with, the fence became either more rigid or diffuse depending on the experience. Diffuse boundaries allowed abuse, manipulation, and back-biting, which led to a need to protect self (thus the rigid boundaries). I want to project forward clear boundaries, as they promote healthy relationships (open to communication and negotiation).
ALSO!!! We did this "Hair Band" activity, where each dot below is represented by 3 different people's fingers. As the blue dot moves away, the pink and orange dots move closer together. Can you get the connection between boundaries, families, and relationships?
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